Relationship Expert, Author, Lecturer

Affair Proof Your Marriage

Article by Rachel for Magazine

The discovery that your partner is either emotionally or sexually involved with another is one of the most devastating experiences one can live through. Being in a relationship carries many different definitions and implications, yet the desire that your partner remain sexually faithful seems to be nearly universal.

There are numerous reasons why people cheat, and it’s good to know them so you’ll be aware to not let them seep into your own marriage.

Most people report that they cheated because they felt emotionally disconnected and lonely in their marriage. Others complain that they felt unimportant or undervalued by their partner.  And some say that it was because of a decrease in sex, sexual dissatisfaction, and/or boredom in the bedroom.

My analogy is that a strong marriage is like the foundation of a beautiful home — if you give it the maintenance it needs, it will stay robust and retain its value for years to come. Alternatively, if you let it hang out there through stormy weather, it will slowly crack and bring the walls down with it.

So if you want to keep your marriage robust and affair proof — here are a few tips for relationship and monogamy success:

  • Marry the right person for the right reasons at the right time in your life. You should feel completely confident during your engagement period that you are marrying a person whose character, nature and goals are fully in line with yours.
  • Couples need to understand that marriage is a huge commitment and that staying happily married requires a lot of compromise and endeavor. Before you wed, speak to your partner about your feelings about fidelity. Surprisingly few newly engaged couples seem to have these frank discussions, some of which can serve to avoid painful misunderstandings later on.
  • Have intimacy in your marriage. Long walks on the beach are much more than a cliché — they truly serve a purpose.
  • Boost each other up. Couples can tend to be very critical toward each other, and too many years of criticism with the absence of praise can take a huge toll on a love bond. Don’t let this happen to your marriage. Be the president of your partner’s fan club, and be sure to regularly remind them how terrific they are.
  • Have fun together. When the chips are down, you want to think of your partner as someone who brings joy into your life. Laughter is such a great elixir and it really helps keep couples together.
  • It’s important to have sex — and even better to have great sex. Being sexual helps you feel more connected to your partner. It makes you feel cared for, attached, and comforted. It’s a nonverbal experience that helps you communicate in an entirely different way. And, it’s fun!

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